Are Other People Judging My Body?
Are worries about what other people think about your body holding you back? In this blog, I explore why some of us come to place such importance on others’ opinions of our appearance, and share compassionate, empowering ways to begin loosening its grip.
Our relationship with food is closely entwined with our relationship with our body. So, let’s say that you’ve decided to stop striving so hard to control your body size and are wanting to step away from the battle with food. Perhaps you’re working towards eating in a more intuitive, supportive way, and learning to relate to your body with a little more neutrality, care or acceptance.
And yet, a familiar concern linger. Even if you begin to your soften your relationship with your body, will other people? What judgements might be made if your body shape or size doesn’t fit societal beauty ideals?
Let’s explore…
Why Others’ Perceptions Can Feel So Important
First, it can help to understand why we, as human beings, so often care about what other people think about our bodies. Caring about this does not mean there is something wrong with you. It reflects a complex mix of psychological, social and cultural influences that many of us have been steeped in from a young age.
Psycho-social factors
Social comparison
Humans naturally compare themselves to others as a way of making sense of where they ‘fit’ in the world. Because bodies are visible, appearance often becomes a focal point for these comparisons.
Social acceptance and belonging
We are wired for connection. Feeling accepted, included and safe within a group matters deeply, and appearance can influence how we believe we are perceived or valued by others - whether or not that belief is accurate.
Peer pressure and conformity
Particularly during adolescence and early adulthood, there can be strong pressure to conform to, or aspire to meet, certain beauty standards. Over time, this can lead to the belief that fitting a particular body ideal is necessary for belonging or approval.
Developmental influences
Socialisation
From early childhood, we are exposed to powerful narratives about bodies, weight and worth. These messages are often subtle, repetitive and rarely questioned, which makes them easy to internalise.
Early experiences
Specific or direct comments, teasing, praise, or criticism from family, peers, teachers or healthcare professionals can leave a lasting imprint. Even seemingly casual remarks can shape how much importance we place on how our body looks, and how safe or unsafe we feel being seen.
Psychological needs
Self-esteem and validation
It’s common to link appearance with self-worth. Positive feedback about how we look can feel reassuring or affirming, while criticism or judgement can deeply undermine confidence. Over time this can train us to look outward for validation.
Control and predictability
For some people, focusing on appearance, food, or body size can offer a sense of control or stability, especially during periods of stress, uncertainty or emotional overwhelm. Often, these strategies develop for understandable reasons, even if they later come at a personal cost.
Cultural and systemic influences
Cultural beauty standards
Every culture promotes particular ideals about what is considered attractive, desirable, or acceptable. These ideals are not neutral, and they tend to privilege certain bodies while marginalising others.
Media and popular culture
Advertising, social media, television, and film frequently glorify a narrow range of body types. Images are curated, filtered, and manipulated, yet they are presented as aspirational and ‘normal’, which can quietly distort our sense of reality.
Consumerism, diet culture and wellness culture
Industries built around weight loss, beauty, and ‘self-improvement’ often profit from amplifying body dissatisfaction. Diet culture in particular promotes thinness as a moral and health ideal, while wellness culture can disguise the same messages in the language of health, discipline and optimisation.
Healthcare bias
The medical system has historically relied on tools such as BMI as shorthand markers of health, despite their well-documented limitations. Weight stigma and assumptions about body size can affect the quality of care people receive, with those in larger bodies frequently reporting dismissal, blame or delayed diagnosis. These experiences can understandably heighten body vigilance and fear of judgement.
Dropping the Struggle With What Other People Might Be Thinking
Taken together, it becomes clear from the influences above why many people struggle not only with how they feel about their own body, but also with anxiety about how it is perceived by others.
While a basic awareness of appearance may be part of being human, the intensity of body shame and fear of judgement we see today is largely shaped by cultural forces that place disproportionate value on a narrow body ideal.
Of course, better understanding where these fears come from doesn’t automatically make them disappear, although it may help a bit. If concerns about being judged have been with you for a long time, it is normal for them to linger, even as your awareness grows.
The good news is that it is possible to build a kind of inner buffer - a way of relating to your body and yourself that feels steadier and less dependent on external approval. This is not about pretending that judgement doesn’t exist - but about strengthening your sense of self alongside it.
Here are some gentle, supportive ways to begin:
Build media and cultural literacy
Learning about the social, political and economic forces that shape body ideals can be quietly liberating. Understanding the flawed science behind weight and health, recognising how images are manipulated, and noticing how diet and wellness culture profit from dissatisfaction can help you take these messages less personally.
Many people also find it empowering to engage with body diversity, fat acceptance or weight-neutral perspectives that challenge the idea that health, worth or success come in one size.
Re-centre your sense of worth
You are more than a body to be assessed. Gently bringing attention to your values, qualities, relationships, skills and contributions can help loosen the habit of measuring your worth through appearance alone. This isn’t about denying any discomfort you experience in your own body, but about widening the lens through which you see yourself.
Remember the ‘spotlight effect’
We often overestimate how much other people are noticing or judging us - a well-known psychological phenomenon sometimes called the ‘spotlight effect’. While body-based judgement does exist, most people are far more preoccupied with their own concerns and insecurities than with scrutinising others. When people do notice others, they tend to see ‘the whole person’. And the people who matter most in our lives tend to value us for far more than how we look.
Explore body neutrality
Rather than striving to love your body, which can feel unrealistic or pressured, body neutrality offers a softer alternative. This might mean relating to your body in a factual, non-judgemental way or simply allowing it to exist without constant commentary. For some, neutral statements such as “these legs help me move through the day” are helpful.
IF YOU DO ENCOUNTER JUDGEMENT
If you do encounter judgement from others, you are not obliged to engage, explain or educate. Sometimes it may feel right to challenge bias or call out diet culture; at other times protecting your energy and safety by disengaging is the most compassionate choice. Both are valid.
A note on weight, goals and wellbeing
For readers, who might be thinking ‘surely an other option is to change how my body looks’, it is important to name that intentional weight loss carries real physical and psychological risks, for anyone but particularly for those with a history of dieting, disordered eating or body image distress. This is why I support weight-neutral approaches to nutrition, food and movement that instead on supporting health, nourishment and wellbeing without making body size the measure of success.
MY CONCLUSIONS
Societal judgements about bodies are real and the impact of fat phobia and thin privilege should not be minimised. At the same time, most meaningful human relationships are built on far more than appearance.
While we cannot control how others see us, we can work towards a relationship with ourselves that is rooted in self-respect and care and increased ‘body image resilience’. Working towards more neutrality and even acceptance around your body can also be valuable, although this is not a fixed destination and it doesn’t mean you will never have difficult body days. However, gradually and compassionately, it is possible to learn to meet yourself with less hostility and more understanding.
If you are struggling with body image, food or self-worth, you are not alone, and support can make a real difference. If you would like to learn more about the support I offer at Gut Reaction to help you build food and body confidence, you can find further details below.
If you are living with an eating disorder, specialist therapeutic support is essential alongside my coaching and nutrition work.
Take a nourishing step forward today
Are worries about food, weight, or overeating draining your time, energy, and peace of mind? Are you struggling with low mood, food cravings, gut health or digestion challenges?
Old mindsets and habits can be hard to shift on your own. If you are looking to reset your eating patterns, make peace with your body, and reclaim your energy, I can help you.
Please check out my private programmes here, or contact me for an exploratory chat to find out more.
