What Is (and Isn’t) a Healthy Relationship with Food
When we hear the phrase “healthy relationship with food”, it can be easy to imagine it’s about making the healthiest choices, or eating to be your healthiest self. But in reality, a healthy relationship with food has less to do with our actual diet, and more to do with how food fits into our life as a whole.
After years of working in nutrition, I’ve come to see that a truly healthy relationship with food isn’t about eating perfectly, cutting out certain foods, or sticking to rigid rules. In fact, some of the people I meet who are most “disciplined” with their eating often feel the least at peace with it.
For me, “healthy” means helpful, supportive, peaceful, nourishing, and flexible. It is about feeling at ease with your food choices, free from unnecessary stress or guilt, and able to enjoy food and eating in ways that support your wellbeing in the broadest sense.
Here are the qualities I see again and again in people who enjoy that balance:
Attuned
This means listening to your body’s cues - hunger, fullness, satisfaction - and letting them guide you - most of the time. It’s also about noticing how different foods make you feel. Research shows that this kind of interoceptive awareness is associated with healthier eating patterns and improved wellbeing (Herbert et al., 2013).
Pleasurable
Food is meant to be enjoyed. Eating with pleasure not only makes meals more satisfying but also supports balanced intake over time. When enjoyment is missing, eating can quickly become mechanical or restrictive - and harder to sustain.
Nourishing and supportive
You choose foods that meet your body’s needs for energy and nourishment most of the time. That doesn’t mean every bite has to be “perfectly nutritious,” but overall your eating patterns feel like they’re taking care of your body rather than depleting it.
Flexible
Flexibility, in my view, is one of the most reliable signs of food peace. It shows up in different ways: being able to adapt when plans change, enjoying spontaneous meals, and not feeling like you’ve “failed” when things don’t go as expected. Flexibility is not the same as being careless; it’s about knowing that health comes from patterns over time, not single meals.
Peaceful and neutral
When food stops carrying moral weight - when a biscuit is just a biscuit, not a “bad choice” - you step out of the cycle of guilt and shame. Eating becomes calmer and less emotionally charged. It is part of life, not the centre of it - and not a constant source of mental chatter.
Emotional eating as part of a normal FOOD relationship
We often demonise emotional eating, but it’s actually part of a normal relationship with food. Sometimes you’ll eat because you’re sad, tired, or celebrating. That doesn’t make it “wrong” - it’s simply one of the many ways humans connect with food. The challenge only comes if it’s the only coping tool in your kit.
What it isn’t
Rigid or rule-bound - Strict rules usually increase preoccupation with food and risk of disordered patterns (Tribole & Resch, 2020).
Morality-based - Labelling foods as good or bad keeps you stuck in guilt.
Perfection-focused - Striving for an unrealistic ideal is exhausting and unsustainable.
All-or-nothing - The swing between control and “giving up” reinforces the very cycle most people want to escape.
Over the years, I’ve also seen how a healthy relationship with food goes hand in hand with a more accepting relationship with the body. When you respect your body, you’re less likely to push it into cycles of punishment and restriction, and more likely to nourish it with kindness. Studies back this up too: people with greater body appreciation tend to eat more intuitively and flexibly (Tylka & Wood-Barcalow, 2015).
In the end, building a healthy relationship with food isn’t about following rules to the letter - it’s about trust. Trusting your body, trusting your choices, and trusting that food can support your life rather than control it.
Take a nourishing step forward today
Are worries about food, weight, or overeating draining your time, energy, and peace of mind? Are you struggling with low mood, persistent food cravings, poor gut health or digestive challenges?
Old mindsets and habits can be hard to shift on your own. If you are looking to find peace with food and your body, and eat with more confidence and ease, I can help you.
Please check out my private programmes here, or book an exploratory chat to find out more.
